Completely Worthless post

This is a worthless post, but I’m from Iowa, and it made me laugh out loud.

60 above zero:
Arizonians turn on the heat.
People in Iowa plant gardens.

50 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Cedar Rapids sunbathe.

40 above zero:
Italian & English cars won’t start.
People in Iowa drive with the windows down.

32 above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Des Moines gets thicker.

20 above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Iowa throw on a flannel shirt.

15 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa have the last cookout before it gets cold.

People in Miami all die.
Iowans close the windows.

10 below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico
People in Iowa get out their winter coats.

25 below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa are selling cookies door to door. (True!)

40 below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa let the dogs sleep indoors.

100 below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans get upset because they can’t start the Mini-Van.

460 below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Iowa start saying…”Cold ’nuff for ya?”

500 below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa public schools will open 2 hours late.

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